Yes that's right. Today I turn the dirty thirty. I can't believe that I am actually that old. I still remember when I thought thirty was so old...now I'm thirty!! This is how my thought process went with me turning thirty. At first..."at first I was afraid, I was petrified"...ok, ok back to the story. I was really in a funk about turning 30. It's just so old. A good third of my life is gone. GONE!! What'd I do with that part of my life? Did I make it worth it? Did I become the person I wanted to be by the mistakes I made? Did I make too many mistakes? Did I make enough good memories? Could I have done anything different to change my past? All of these questions flooded my head at the thought of turning 30. I was freaking out. I kept thinking, "Have I done enough so far to make my life worth while?" Luckily the answers to my questions came a few days later. I was playing with my kids and Chad and I had a moment to pause and look at the five of them around me. At that small moment in time I was able to see the blessings in my life. I felt the love so strong in the room. I have been blessed with the BEST husband. I truly believe that Chad and I are a match made in Heaven. Everything just seems to work out for us and I am so blessed to have a guy who is willing and able to do anything and everything he can to make his family happy. {I love you Chad...from here to eternity}.I have also been blessed with four BEAUTIFUL and healthy kiddos. My kids are the cutest and smartest kiddos in the world. Sure they can be stinkers sometimes, but they're kids. That's how they are supposed to be. I figure it's my payback for what I put my parents through. Which brings me back to my previous questions."What'd I do with that part of my life?" I went to school. I played basketball in college and soccer and softball and track and volleyball growing up. I found the perfect man for me and married him for time and all eternity in the temple which was a goal of mine. I became a mother and had four kids who bless me everyday and remind me everyday to be happy and live life to the fullest because you don't get another shot."Did I become the person I wanted to?" If you would've asked me when I was little what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would've answered, " A mom!!" I knew I wanted to be a mom. I remember going to my mom and telling her I was worried that the second coming would come before I would be able to have kids. Luckily I was blessed to bring these sweet spirits into the world. I think that the person I have become is the person I wanted to be. I also think that the image of myself is ever changing. Always wanting to improve. Hopefully I will have many more years to sculpt myself and become the the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend I want to be. "Have I made too many mistakes?" Yes, I have. But I believe that it is only a mistake if you fail to learn a lesson from it. I have been blessed to gain knowledge from every single one of my mistakes. I know that the knowledge I have gained from them will help me be a better mother and wife and friend. If we don't make mistakes, that means that we didn't set ourselves up to fail and in turn, that we didn't set ourselves up to succeed. So did I make the last 30 years of my life worth it? I say YES! I have made it worth it. I have learned, loved, laughed, and made so many great memories. I was able to change my perspective about turning thirty. I was viewing it as a third of my life gone, lost, the end. When in fact the best part of my life is just beginning. Raising my children and making new memories with them. Watching them succeed and knowing that I raised them right. Increasing love and strength in my marriage and knowing that Chad and I are sealed for eternity. So you know what I say to 30? "Bring it on." Bring on the laughs, the memories good and bad {hopefully more good then bad}. Bring on the battle of getting older and trying to fit everything in while I still can. I am so going to win that game. One of my favorite songs is a country song called 'Life's a Dance' by John Michael Montgomery. "Life's a dance you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead sometimes you follow. Don't worry bout what you don't know. Life's a dance you learn as you go." So with that in mind, here's to turning thirty. Let's dance!
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